Trial and error

December 2010

Dear you,


You. Yes, you.
Honestly, I don't have a single idea how to start this letter of mine, so I started it by addressing you. I was studying my Spanish lessons - never ending Spanish lessons- when a thought came to mind. Why not write you a letter? Truth be told, writing you a letter seems quite hilarious and appalling to me. Come to think of it, you won't even be able to read this in our lifetime. Perhaps. But I'm gonna write this anyway, taking the risk of having people read this and assume.
So let's start off with this phrase.


I like you.


.........



DISCLAIMER: Certain parts of the letter are not to be disclosed. It can be a work of fiction or of reality, in which angle you prefer to see it. 

Breaking the Chains

What is love?

Love is blind.

Love is a rosary that is full of mysteries.

Love makes the world go around.

If you know love, better think again. It is more than what you write in your slumnotes or the things you usually vandal in every school corner or what you doodle in your seatmate’s hand. I'm not an expert but I'll tell you what I know. 

….

Love is not just a feeling, a fleeting emotion or a state. It does not depend on the circumstances, on the weather or mood. You love not because it’s convenient, but you love because you know it’s what keeps you going. You love even in the darkest moments, in failures and disappointments.

Love is more than a shape or an organ. It is an experience, a moment waiting to be captured. It is not only confined in words or actions, on poems or songs. Love is more than first sights. Love is alive. It breathes, it transpires. It is found in a mother’s eyes, in a doctor’s hands and even in a child’s smile. Love is everywhere, be it in rubbles and in chaos. It is hidden on every stroke, every question, on every laugh and on every caress of affection.

Love is a palette of all colors, of pastels and glitters, of blacks and grays. A warm comfort in winter and a cool shade in summer. Love is the air we breathe. It is sum of all beauty and the complexity of all splendor. It makes you speak, dance, sing, and draw. It is love that saturates us all. 

Love is patient. In pain, sorrow or agony, we do not stop loving. We persist, we fight. In waiting we do not crumble but we hope even if there’s a vague chance in hoping.  

Love is kind. You love not because you give, but you give because you love. It is noble and self-sacrificing. Loving is not waiting to be loved but rather giving with the purest intention. Love, overall, understands. 

It is an interconnection of all gracious emotions intricately woven to be worn by those who are willing. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. Love is the ability to forgive, to heal and start anew.

Love does not give way to resentment, anger or bitterness. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily-angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It does not take offense but rather takes joy in everything. It satisfies the soul and gratifies the Spirit. To love is to suffer the hardest and to gain the sweetest things in life.

 

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. When all is lying, love encourages you to be sincere. It is a light in the heart of those who believe. Often times a weapon of honesty and candor, love never takes pleasure on deceit. Still in shadows and obscurity, love shines.

Loving is not disregarding one's imperfections, rather accepting you for all your worth. In love we have confidence in the present and in reality. Although we fail, we do not cease to love. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. It is eternal and unsurprisingly enduring.

Love has no room for fear. In it we put our faith because love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13: 4

PS: "God is Love" 1 John 4:8

Love is not proud 
Love does not boast
Love after all 
Matters the most 

Love does not run
Love does not hide
Love does not keep
Locked inside 

Love is the river that flows through
Love never fails you

Love will sustain
Love will provide
Love will not cease
At the end of time 

Love will protect
Love always hopes
Love still believes
When you don’t 

Love is the arms that are holding you
Love never fails you


When my heart won’t make a sound
When I can’t turn back around
When the sky is falling down
Nothing is greater than this 
Greater than this

Love is right here
Love is alive
Love is the way
The truth the life

Love is the river than flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you

❤

Happy New Year!

Listed below are the things, lessons, petty solutions I learned this year. It, or rather they, might not resemble a relevance to you, but heck… this is my blog. J Nevertheless, it would be splendid if you guys can relate. BTW, I rather take the bullets than write long sluggish essays about some badum-badum stuffs about my life. J And also, credits to the people (books and movies) behind this list, YOU GUYS ARE NO LESS THAN AWESOME! :D

•       People come and go, you have to accept it.
•       A lot of people will eventually disappoint you and you have to forgive them for that.
•     Ang ampalaya ay kinakain at hindi inaasal.
•      Prayer resolves everything.
•      Grades won’t define you! But study of course. :)
•      God rebukes you not to condemn you, but for you to learn.
•      Remember the past, but don’t dwell on it too much. It would just make you sick.
•      Stand in what you believe in!
•      Do not concern yourself with commodity fetishism; it will just leave you more anxious and undoubtedly penniless.
•      Be original by being you!
•      Mahalin mo ang course mo dahil ikaw at piling mga nilalang lang ang nakakaintindi niyan.
•      Take time to rest but please do not quit.
•      No words can describe your dreams, so pursue it.
•      You mustn’t hurry love but please be prepared for it.
•      You might think life is hard, but I tell you, it’s harder. :D
•      The best love stories are those written by God.
•      Sometimes, the best books aren’t found in National Bookstore. LOL. 
•      Cry once, twice, thrice but don’t make crying a habit.
•      Really, it’s better to be late than never.
•      Always have a plan B on everything.
•      Know that God is your utmost priority, not your studies, your social life or your freak of a love life.
•      Celebrities aren’t worth it. Trust me, I did a lot of fangirling for quite a heck of time.
•      Ignore/Throw away/Demolish/Bulldoze/Abhor all the things that might hinder you from living your life for God.
•      Think before you act.
•      Love isn’t blind so stop writing it on your slum book.
•      Disappoint Barack Obama or Mahatma Gandhi but don’t disappoint your God.
•      Apathy shouldn’t be practiced.
•      You are more precious than what you think you are.
•      Do not get a 7 am class.
•      Buy an alarm clock… or better yet, put a plug in alarm right inside your ears.
•      You won’t know unless you try.
•      Bigyang hustisya ang hindi nakakapag-aral. Mag-aral ka! Magliwaliw ka pag hindi na magulang mo ang nagpapaaral sa’yo. Mami-miss mo rin yan pag nagtrabaho ka na. J
•      Learn when to say „Yes“ and when to say „No“
•      Stop behaving like such a grumpy old crow.
•      Always bring an umbrella with you.
•      If you think you could do something productive in just sitting in front of a computer for twelve hours, better gather your senses before ‘tis too late.
•      Know God’s purpose for you because even a whole library cannot compensate for not knowing them.
•      And lastly, learn how to love more and to trust in the Lord at all times.

PINAKAMAMAHAL KONG MITA, NAWA AY LAGI MO NG ISAPUSO, ISAISIP AT ISAKALULUWA ANG MGA BAGAY NA NILAGAY MO DITO. MALAKI KA NA NAMAN, KAYA MO NA SIGURO IYAN. J ANYWAY, HAPPY NEW YEAR SA’YO! MAHAL KITA KAHIT NA BALIW KA! :D

Lay down the numbers

A scar?

I have one on my chin and it's somewhat circular (and it's quite big) . Had it on my first grade I think? You would notice it if you look closer.

Age?

Frozen on my seventeenth year. 

How are you feeling?

I feel zombified. I've been doing acad-ralated bumfs these past few days and it drained me, just like a leech sucking the blood out of me. 

What did you do last night?
I downloaded some e-books again. I updated my tumblr account coz I feel bad it might go ancient.
The last person to hug you?
My mum? And our head pastor (He is like a dad to me, to us all.) I felt relieved after that. Been wasted physically and mentally, their hugs are a comfort to me.
Favourite word?
Eternal and Love (favourite words)
Opinion on homosexuality?
Well, I am not comfortable being with lesbians/ bisexual-girls/girls-who-prefer-girls. But I have friends who are homosexuals, as in queers and gays. I love them. However, ... UGH. This is a very sensitive issue for me.
What did you do last weekend?
Got to force myself to start my project in Deutsch. 
Three most important things in your life?
God (He is my reason for living)
Family (My pride and  my support)
and Friends (my encouragement and the spices of my life)
Last time you cried?
Hmm, Friday. October 15. Due to exhaustion, over-fatigue and annoying groupmates. Also, I became an owl for 40 hours.
The last text you received?
Form a friend saying a simple good morning. But I bet it's a group message. :D
What makes you feel better when you’re upset?
When I pray and talk to God. He is such a good listener and a great strength-supplier.
What you look for in a guy/girl
I want to meet a guy who loves God more than he loves me. 
What  are you worried about at the moment?
Nothing serious. (Just thinking if I would be able to do my sister's collage without distorting/messing it up.)
What did you have for breakfast?
PANCIT CANTON. Little bro cooked it for me. (Sometimes he is just so sweet.)
Ever had your heart broken?
Should I be honest? -.- Okay fine. Yeah, i guess. Once. You know, infatuation sucks. hahahaha
Countries you’ve been?
I've never been to any country (I don't have the luxury okay?) But in my dreams i've been traveling the world. :>
Last person you texted?
Irene (a college friend). I told her I only got 9 units during the 1st batchrun of online enlistment. :| I think my text goes like this  >> I only got 9 units! Blech. <<
Dumbest thing you have ever done?
You know, it's hard to point somthing in particular when you have a lot to enumerate. :D
Opinion on drugs/alcohol?
Gives nothing but a pain in the *ss. 
Last person to kiss you?
Today, my mum kissed me on the forehead. :D
Favourite book?
My Bible, His Word. 
Ever dated someone younger than you?
For the record, I've never dated anyone. 
Last person you saw?
(This question is pointless but I'll, nonetheless, answer it) My cousin. He keeps jumping from places to places here in the living room.
Do you love anyone?
Of course. I am loved that's why I ought to love. Wait. You mean romantically? I don't think so. :D
Who is your best friend?
God. (it may sound cliche but it's true. Better leave it this way.)
Where you live, and what you like/dislike about it
I live in a small but happy house. My church and my relatives are just around the corner so I am very pleased about it. 
How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
Five hours. 
The person you like?
Secret. :P (The last thing I have in mind is to put myself in a dire situation, so I better not spill it.)
Your opinion on dating your ex.
I have no experience to share. But if you want a general opinion, hmmm, askdhjakshskhksfksh! STOP FANTASIZING YOUR EX!! There's a reason why you didn't end up together. (No, I'm not mad.)
Ever kissed a stranger?
I am not a perv.
What you want to do with your future
I want to be a diplomat (ambassador would be a lot cooler though) and to be a missionary too. :D
Are you happy?
I am always happy. =))
Ever been in love?
I am always in love. <3
The meaning behind your url
It sounds cool and mysterious and weird.
A question of your own
Would you be able to finish your race of faith?

Challenge accepted.

Have you read more than 6 of these books? The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here. Instructions: Copy this into your NOTES. Bold those books you've read in their entirety, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish or read an excerpt. Tag other book nerds. Tag me as well so I can see your responses!

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling 

5 To Kill  a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6 The Bible -

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman 

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens - 

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger 

19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger 

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald 

24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy 

25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky 

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame 

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis 

34 Emma -Jane Austen 

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery 

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy 

48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood 

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel  

52 Dune - Frank Herbert 

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens - 

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez 

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck 

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac 

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding 

69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie 

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72 Dracula - Bram Stoker

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce

76 The Inferno - Dante

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens 

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery 

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo-

It's been a long time.

It has been more than a month since I posted something of worth in this blog. I've been such a bummer lately, sleeping late trying to bug myself with some school stuffs I obviously hate doing. So here I am, taking the opportunity to type my memories out on what happened to me during those hibernating times. And of course, this is in no particular order (as always). 


- I attended my friend's debut party. It was crazy, fun and not to mention very... musical. (boo the description. I know.) I saw friends and schoolmates I haven't seen for almost two years. I saw my crush back in highschool (I do hope he won't get to see this coz if he does, i'll be damned.). 


- I got to take 2 tablets of Kremil S in span of seven hours. (Just to say, antacids should be taken once a day ONLY. My poor stomach!). Blessed enough I didn't suffer from gastric irritation. However, I got hyped and all that very night that my friends concluded it was because of those antacids. Of course they're joking. :))


- I got a a grade of 2.0 on my major's midterms. I didn't get depressed, just regretful that I have always been careless when answering an exam. But I know I would be able to redeem myself on the finals!


- Mein Laptop war kaputt. Nasira yung laptop ko nung birthday ni Papa. I got so pissed I couldn't help but cry. huhuhuhu. My papers and projects are all there! My e-books! My movies! My ever beloved Minesweeper!  But I got guilty and felt remorse having to feel and think that way. I got so trivial once again and I did hate myself for that. I failed God that time. But I didn't dwell much on that fact. I gathered myself up and prayed afterwards, asking for His forgiveness that I became such a traveling cynic. 


Lesson learned: DO NOT PREOCCUPY YOURSELF WITH PETTY AND INCONSEQUENTIAL THINGS THAT WON'T DO ANYTHING BUT TO PISS YOU HARDCORE!


Well, well, well. This is it for know. I have other things to do. Goodbye!

Fragments

Today, I want to be boundless. The fact that I won’t care even if the world sucks big time thrills me more than anything else in the world. No. I am neither being apathetic nor lethargic here.  If you were in my place, even you might not be able to explain it.

Today, I wouldn’t dare open the television. I would close my eyes so as not to provoke any bad aura. Then I would shut my ears, devoid of any human fumes, those endless seethes that seem to deaf me.

Today, I would try to forget my problems. I would lock them up in the deepest recesses of this fragile unconscious part of mine. Fastened.  Silenced.

Today, I wouldn’t read nor write. I would curb these imploring ideas; let them die in this hiatus I am letting myself to take.

Today, I wouldn’t dare think of passing any oral or written exams that I have to take. Let me remind myself that those craps won’t be able to define me. Not now. Not ever.

Today, I wouldn't cry, even a tear won't be shed. Let these emotions banish, fade like bubbles in thin air.

For once, I want to free myself from the world’s bondage. Being detached from this domain of norms and fixations was once my dream.

But I know even if I dare, these portions that I keep on pushing out of my life would still sneak their way through me. And no matter how I suppress it, they just won’t leave me. These imperfections, as long as I live, will always hold a fragment of me. 

Believe me. I'm touched.

Dear Sam,

I wrote you something good. I wrote you a letter on yellow paper, longhand. I followed the margins carefully, kept it tidy---as you like it tidy. I wrote it the way they taught us how to write letters in grade school, with the date and place and time on the upper right part of the page, except that I made sure I wouldn’t scare you with my grade schooler’s penmanship; not making the lower case letters look like screaming capital letters. I also made sure that my periods didn’t look like commas, and my commas didn’t look like drowning letter i’s as they usually do. I wrote it in class while my professor was plotting Foucault’s panopticon on the whiteboard. He drew it so badly I had to write something else. I wrote you something. And I think it was my best.

I wrote you of the day we talked about Hemingway lost at sea while eating the whole fish from Dampa the two of us couldn’t finish. I wrote you of us, that day we slow danced---my first slow dance ever---alone in my room as George sang Something for us on my player. I wrote you, in italics, how gracefully the street lights glide from your hands on your knees, to your arms, to your face every time I drive you home. I wrote you a letter which sang of feelings I’ve yet to tell anyone else. Feelings I’ve never written down. Feelings I only admitted to myself then. I wrote you something. And I think it was my best.

I folded it thrice, lengthwise, crosswise, then diagonally. I taped it under a desk, not mine, so I’d forget where I placed it. It’s there. Somewhere. I wrote you something, Sam, and yes, I think it was my best.

Let me try, now, to write that letter again. Remember the same words, use the same punctuations, work the same syntax, make the same sense, and hope it would tell the same. Let me fail once. Let me fail again. Let me fail again and again and again and again. Let every attempt be second best. On the day that you find that I’ve written my best, don’t tell me that you’ve read it. Tape the letter under a desk and tell me you lost it. And I’ll gladly try again.

Yours,

DLSP

(Love Letter Writing THIRD PLACE : Dino Pineda, 4th year CW, UP Writer's Club)

This is ohmigahd. What's not there to like love? It's amazing how people could express 

so much just by writing a few sentence. I just wish things would work out well for both of them. kyaaaaaa~ 

The fruit of my Tagalog idiocy

31 Charles Crescent, Primrose Hill, N.W.

London, 31 Januar 1889.

Teuerer Freund!

Vor allem schreibe ich dir, dass ich an dem Trauer  Osterreich und ein deinemTeilnahme. Das Unglück welches das Osterreicheres Volk litt, ist zu groß , dass man auch hier sympathisiert. Aber es sind doch Völker die weit unglücklicher sind, sind für welche dieses Unglück, ware  es möglich, gewiss als Glück gelten wird.

Deinen Brief habe ich empfangen, und sage dir wärmsten Dank in dem Namen meines Vaterlandes, weil du die Präsidentenschaft angenommen hast. Fürchte nicht, ich will dich nicht kompromittieren, wenn du das auch Wohl meines Vaterlandes es verlaute. Wir wollen das Glück der Philippinen, aber durch Edelmut und Wahrheit, denn wir stehen ja auf unserem Rechte, und wir brauchen  nicht, Unrecht zu tun. Müsste ich unedel handeln, um mein Vaterland glücklich zu machen, so werde ich verzichten zu tun, denn ich bin sicher dass was auf Sand aufgebaut ist, früher oder später wird zusammenfallen.

Nein, fürchte nicht; haben wir Recht, so müssen wir Recht haben, trotz den Frayles u. dergl.m. und wäre es uns unmöglich, heute unsere Feinde zu besiegen, Morgen wird kommen, ein anderer Tag wird scheinen, denn es muss ja einen Gott der Gerechtigkeit geben, sonst werden wir atheist.

Ich habe Casal’s Buch schon gelesen, und bedaure sehr dass es Casal untergezeichnet hat. Man hat mir aus Madrid geschrieben, dass der Verfaner ein Frayle war; Casal kennst die Philippinen nicht noch die Bevölkerung; er hat als Kind, Philippinen verlassen, wurde hier erzogen, und als er dahin kehrte, seine Aufenthalt war so kurz –kürzer wie meine –dass er die Zustände der Bevölkerung nicht richtig lernen kennen konnte. Außerdem, Casal ist ein glückliches Mann, er hat nur mit glückliches und Machtigen verkehrt, er ist mit den Zuständen der Philippinen zufrieden, er hat ein schönes hinkommen, er wohnt nicht da, wozu wollte er den Quijotismo begehen paraendezar entuertos y defender al dewalido? Sicherlich wird seine Nachkommenschaft spanisch, und es wäre die größte Thorheit für die Philippinen kämpfen, wenn man alle Hoffnungen auf Spanien setzt.

Ich habe schon an Herrn Schadenberg ein Noli me Tangere hingeschickt : obwohl ich es ein geschrieben ließ, doch zweifleich, er käme es bekommen.

Jose Rizal

31 Charles Crescent, Primrose Hill, N.W.

London, ika-31 ng Enero 1889

Mahal kong kaibigan,

Una sa lahat, ako ay lumiham sa iyo upang ipabatid na kasama mo ako at ng buong Austriya sa inyong pighati. Kahit ang mga kasamahan ko dito’y nagdadalamhati sa kasawian na dinanas ng mga mamayan ng Austriya. Subalit mayroon pang mga taong mas kapus-palad kung saan ang ganitong kasawian ay maituturing pang kapalaran.

Natanggap ko na ang iyong liham at sa ngalan ng aking inang bayan, nais kong ipaalam sa iyo na ako’y lubos na nagagalak sa pagtatanggap mo sa puwesto ng pagkapangulo. Huwag kang mabahala, hindi kita isusubo sa kompromiso, kahit pa sabihing ito’y para sa kapakanan ng aking bayan. Wala kaming ibang nais kundi ang kaligayahan ng aming bansa, ngunit ibig naming itong makamit sa marangal at makatuwirang paraan, dahil ang katuwiran ay labis naming pinahahalagahan, marapat lamang na hindi kami gumawa ng hindi tama.  Kung kailangan kong gumawa ng masama para sa kaligayahan ng aking inang bayan, ako’y tatanggi sapagkat anumang itinayo sa buhanginan, di kalaunan ay guguho din.

Magkagayo’y wala kang dapat katakutan. Kung parati tayong nakapinid sa kung ano ang husto, asahang ang katuwiran ay laging nasa ating panig, sa kabila ng represyon ng mga prayle at ng iba pang tao. At kung imposible pa sa ngayon na tuluyan nating magapi ang ating mga kaaway, darating pa rin ang umaga kaalinsabay ng pagdating ng isa pang araw, sapagkat mayroon pa ring Diyos ng hustisya, kung hindi’y tayo ay maituturing nang mga ateista.

Nabasa ko na ang libro ni Casal at ako’y labis na nalulungkot na ito’y kanyang pinirmahan . Lumiham sa akin ang mga nasa Madrid at sinabing ang may katha ay isang prayle. Ang Pilipinas o kahit ang mga mamayan nito’y hindi lubos na kilala ni Casal. Lumisan siya ng bansa nang siya’y musmos pa lamang.  Siya’y nag-aral dito at nang siya’y bumalik ng Pilipinas, saglit lamang siyang nanatili –higit na maikli kaysa sa pananatili ko –kaya’t hindi na niya nagawang magkaroon ng sapat na kaalaman ukol sa mga mamamayan nito. Bukod doon ay isa ring masayahing tao si Casal at nakikihalubilo lamang siya sa mga katulad niyang mapalad at makapangyarihan at dahil doon, kuntento na siya sa kasalukuyang kalagayan ng Pilipinas. Kumikita siya ng malaki kahit na hindi siya doon nakatira. Samakatuwid, bakit kailangan pa niyang magpasailalim sa kihotismo para lamang maituwid ang kabaluktutan at maipagtanggol ang mga mahina? Ang kanyang mga desendyente ay malamang na mga Kastila at isang malaking kahangalan na makipaglaban para sa Pilipinas kung ang pananalig ng tao’y nakalagak sa Espanya.

Naipadala ko na kay Ginoong Schadenberg ang kopya ng Noli me tángere. Datapwat ipinadala ko ito bilang isang rehistradong liham, may agam-agam pa rin ako kung matatanggap niya iyon.

Jose Rizal 

Petty dilemma

Pardon me.  


Oh-kay. Here it goes. I am downloading e-books from the net and guess what? I am hating it. I don't have any qualms about e-books. Really. However, I am planning to build (whatever the right term is) a home library for me and for my siblings.


I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves.  ~Anna Quindlen

Again in my case, siblings. I want to indulge them, as much as possible, in reading books of any kind. So, I want desire to have the actual copy of the books. 
Also, there's this excitement you get in an actual book. Believe me, there is.  The ancient smell (even if how awful it is) makes me very at ease. 


I know every book of mine by its smell, and I have but to put my nose between the pages to be reminded of all sorts of things.  ~George Robert Gissing


See? This is what I'm saying. It may sound weird but I want to stick my nose in every good book I know, no matter how chronologically challenged they are. And obviously, I can't do it to e-books. pssssssh. But then, it is very hard for me to avail every book the I want (it's as if it won't cost me much). hay dilemma.


Would I be so impractical if I'll buy a book that I have already read in e-book? 

I am being random again.

Since I feel like randomizing my post (it's as if I have a choice. I'm forever random.), I'm going to post the most random thing I could say (or do? whichever) Gahd. =.=  I'm a failure in describing myself. Anyway, here they go...

1. I’m a t-shirt person… but I also take delight in tees. I’m comfortable this way. I hate wearing miniskirts, sleeveless and even very tight blouse. Definitely not a fashionista. Minsan makikita mo ko na parang basurera lang sabi ng nanay ko. hahaha!

2. I’m getting fatter every single day.  My weight is directly proportional to my college residency. Well, I don’t see it as a bad thing, it’s just that I couldn’t wear some of my pants anymore. :(

3. I have an earring only on my left ear. 

4. On a typical Filipina’s height. But I’m currently engaging myself to stretching lessons with my boardmates so as to gain even an inch.

5. I got my physical attributes from father’s side. And mind you, he is very adamant about it.

6. My hair’s red… hahaha. Dream on. It’s really brownish in color.

7. No tattoos for me. quite messy and it just won’t suit me. Seriously, I would look like a hippie wannabe.

8. Possesses a frenzied smile. :) Not in a scary type of way though. HOHOHO. no joke. I smile a lot… I don’t know. Sometimes it just shows up without me trying to.

9. I always use nail polish to practically harass my nails. 

10. No make-up for me… at least on a daily basis. Parang feeling ko kase my mask lagi na nakapatong sa mukha ko, ang bigat lang.

11. I am no conformist. I hate confining myself to the norms and common fetishisms. Why? Because I find it too unhealthy for me. Minsan lang talaga ang sakit nila sa ulo na tipong nakakaiyak na lang. whew.
12. My life is an open book. (cut and abridged of course :>)
13. No alcoholic drinks for me and of course, no smoking.
14. I am physically weak. Yeah. My sicknesses are taking their shifts on me.
15. I laugh as if I'm going to die any minute.
16. I have a thing for books and more books and much more books. 
17. I was once an owl. Then after 3000 years I evolved into a worm. But because of aggressive civilization, I formed into a human being. Actually, nababaliw lang ako ngayon. hahahaha!
18. I speak german and spanish and weirdo language. 
19. I dreamt am dreaming of having my own international bestselling book.
20. I write random things when I'm bored (like this? yeah like this. HOHO.)
21. I am a girl with big dreams. 
22. My favorite color is green. I don't love arguing and I am definitely not born on the seventeenth. xD
23. I have never riden on a plane. Poor me. :( 
24. I once wished on taking up these courses: Psychology, Chemistry, Biology, Interior Design, Architecture, Journalism, Creative Writing and Chemical Engineering. 
25. I have a new crush and his name is Aaron Samuels. I still keep the old ones though. LOLOLOLOL :)))
26. I am a fan of UAAP basketball games.
27. I love colorful pens and more pens and much more pens.
28. I am partly emotional. and full-time abnormal. :)))
29. I hate hating things but I just can't avoid it sometimes. :(
30. I am no fan of numbers, variables and equations of any sort.
31. I love slippers pero never akong naging fan ng Havaianas. Kung may magbibigay, ayos lang, pero kung ako mismo bibili sa sarili ko dahil wala lang... no thanks. 
32. I am the eldest child. I have a brother(13 yrs old) and a sister (9 yrs old).
33. I have two awesoooooome parents. <3
34. I sleep like a log. 
35. I would never allow you to touch my ears or my knees. :)))) 




36. I am zoooooo zleepy I better end thizzz pozzzzt.