Trial and error

December 2010

Dear you,


You. Yes, you.
Honestly, I don't have a single idea how to start this letter of mine, so I started it by addressing you. I was studying my Spanish lessons - never ending Spanish lessons- when a thought came to mind. Why not write you a letter? Truth be told, writing you a letter seems quite hilarious and appalling to me. Come to think of it, you won't even be able to read this in our lifetime. Perhaps. But I'm gonna write this anyway, taking the risk of having people read this and assume.
So let's start off with this phrase.


I like you.


.........



DISCLAIMER: Certain parts of the letter are not to be disclosed. It can be a work of fiction or of reality, in which angle you prefer to see it. 

Breaking the Chains

What is love?

Love is blind.

Love is a rosary that is full of mysteries.

Love makes the world go around.

If you know love, better think again. It is more than what you write in your slumnotes or the things you usually vandal in every school corner or what you doodle in your seatmate’s hand. I'm not an expert but I'll tell you what I know. 

….

Love is not just a feeling, a fleeting emotion or a state. It does not depend on the circumstances, on the weather or mood. You love not because it’s convenient, but you love because you know it’s what keeps you going. You love even in the darkest moments, in failures and disappointments.

Love is more than a shape or an organ. It is an experience, a moment waiting to be captured. It is not only confined in words or actions, on poems or songs. Love is more than first sights. Love is alive. It breathes, it transpires. It is found in a mother’s eyes, in a doctor’s hands and even in a child’s smile. Love is everywhere, be it in rubbles and in chaos. It is hidden on every stroke, every question, on every laugh and on every caress of affection.

Love is a palette of all colors, of pastels and glitters, of blacks and grays. A warm comfort in winter and a cool shade in summer. Love is the air we breathe. It is sum of all beauty and the complexity of all splendor. It makes you speak, dance, sing, and draw. It is love that saturates us all. 

Love is patient. In pain, sorrow or agony, we do not stop loving. We persist, we fight. In waiting we do not crumble but we hope even if there’s a vague chance in hoping.  

Love is kind. You love not because you give, but you give because you love. It is noble and self-sacrificing. Loving is not waiting to be loved but rather giving with the purest intention. Love, overall, understands. 

It is an interconnection of all gracious emotions intricately woven to be worn by those who are willing. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. Love is the ability to forgive, to heal and start anew.

Love does not give way to resentment, anger or bitterness. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily-angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It does not take offense but rather takes joy in everything. It satisfies the soul and gratifies the Spirit. To love is to suffer the hardest and to gain the sweetest things in life.

 

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. When all is lying, love encourages you to be sincere. It is a light in the heart of those who believe. Often times a weapon of honesty and candor, love never takes pleasure on deceit. Still in shadows and obscurity, love shines.

Loving is not disregarding one's imperfections, rather accepting you for all your worth. In love we have confidence in the present and in reality. Although we fail, we do not cease to love. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. It is eternal and unsurprisingly enduring.

Love has no room for fear. In it we put our faith because love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13: 4

PS: "God is Love" 1 John 4:8

Love is not proud 
Love does not boast
Love after all 
Matters the most 

Love does not run
Love does not hide
Love does not keep
Locked inside 

Love is the river that flows through
Love never fails you

Love will sustain
Love will provide
Love will not cease
At the end of time 

Love will protect
Love always hopes
Love still believes
When you don’t 

Love is the arms that are holding you
Love never fails you


When my heart won’t make a sound
When I can’t turn back around
When the sky is falling down
Nothing is greater than this 
Greater than this

Love is right here
Love is alive
Love is the way
The truth the life

Love is the river than flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you

❤

Happy New Year!

Listed below are the things, lessons, petty solutions I learned this year. It, or rather they, might not resemble a relevance to you, but heck… this is my blog. J Nevertheless, it would be splendid if you guys can relate. BTW, I rather take the bullets than write long sluggish essays about some badum-badum stuffs about my life. J And also, credits to the people (books and movies) behind this list, YOU GUYS ARE NO LESS THAN AWESOME! :D

•       People come and go, you have to accept it.
•       A lot of people will eventually disappoint you and you have to forgive them for that.
•     Ang ampalaya ay kinakain at hindi inaasal.
•      Prayer resolves everything.
•      Grades won’t define you! But study of course. :)
•      God rebukes you not to condemn you, but for you to learn.
•      Remember the past, but don’t dwell on it too much. It would just make you sick.
•      Stand in what you believe in!
•      Do not concern yourself with commodity fetishism; it will just leave you more anxious and undoubtedly penniless.
•      Be original by being you!
•      Mahalin mo ang course mo dahil ikaw at piling mga nilalang lang ang nakakaintindi niyan.
•      Take time to rest but please do not quit.
•      No words can describe your dreams, so pursue it.
•      You mustn’t hurry love but please be prepared for it.
•      You might think life is hard, but I tell you, it’s harder. :D
•      The best love stories are those written by God.
•      Sometimes, the best books aren’t found in National Bookstore. LOL. 
•      Cry once, twice, thrice but don’t make crying a habit.
•      Really, it’s better to be late than never.
•      Always have a plan B on everything.
•      Know that God is your utmost priority, not your studies, your social life or your freak of a love life.
•      Celebrities aren’t worth it. Trust me, I did a lot of fangirling for quite a heck of time.
•      Ignore/Throw away/Demolish/Bulldoze/Abhor all the things that might hinder you from living your life for God.
•      Think before you act.
•      Love isn’t blind so stop writing it on your slum book.
•      Disappoint Barack Obama or Mahatma Gandhi but don’t disappoint your God.
•      Apathy shouldn’t be practiced.
•      You are more precious than what you think you are.
•      Do not get a 7 am class.
•      Buy an alarm clock… or better yet, put a plug in alarm right inside your ears.
•      You won’t know unless you try.
•      Bigyang hustisya ang hindi nakakapag-aral. Mag-aral ka! Magliwaliw ka pag hindi na magulang mo ang nagpapaaral sa’yo. Mami-miss mo rin yan pag nagtrabaho ka na. J
•      Learn when to say „Yes“ and when to say „No“
•      Stop behaving like such a grumpy old crow.
•      Always bring an umbrella with you.
•      If you think you could do something productive in just sitting in front of a computer for twelve hours, better gather your senses before ‘tis too late.
•      Know God’s purpose for you because even a whole library cannot compensate for not knowing them.
•      And lastly, learn how to love more and to trust in the Lord at all times.

PINAKAMAMAHAL KONG MITA, NAWA AY LAGI MO NG ISAPUSO, ISAISIP AT ISAKALULUWA ANG MGA BAGAY NA NILAGAY MO DITO. MALAKI KA NA NAMAN, KAYA MO NA SIGURO IYAN. J ANYWAY, HAPPY NEW YEAR SA’YO! MAHAL KITA KAHIT NA BALIW KA! :D

Lay down the numbers

A scar?

I have one on my chin and it's somewhat circular (and it's quite big) . Had it on my first grade I think? You would notice it if you look closer.

Age?

Frozen on my seventeenth year. 

How are you feeling?

I feel zombified. I've been doing acad-ralated bumfs these past few days and it drained me, just like a leech sucking the blood out of me. 

What did you do last night?
I downloaded some e-books again. I updated my tumblr account coz I feel bad it might go ancient.
The last person to hug you?
My mum? And our head pastor (He is like a dad to me, to us all.) I felt relieved after that. Been wasted physically and mentally, their hugs are a comfort to me.
Favourite word?
Eternal and Love (favourite words)
Opinion on homosexuality?
Well, I am not comfortable being with lesbians/ bisexual-girls/girls-who-prefer-girls. But I have friends who are homosexuals, as in queers and gays. I love them. However, ... UGH. This is a very sensitive issue for me.
What did you do last weekend?
Got to force myself to start my project in Deutsch. 
Three most important things in your life?
God (He is my reason for living)
Family (My pride and  my support)
and Friends (my encouragement and the spices of my life)
Last time you cried?
Hmm, Friday. October 15. Due to exhaustion, over-fatigue and annoying groupmates. Also, I became an owl for 40 hours.
The last text you received?
Form a friend saying a simple good morning. But I bet it's a group message. :D
What makes you feel better when you’re upset?
When I pray and talk to God. He is such a good listener and a great strength-supplier.
What you look for in a guy/girl
I want to meet a guy who loves God more than he loves me. 
What  are you worried about at the moment?
Nothing serious. (Just thinking if I would be able to do my sister's collage without distorting/messing it up.)
What did you have for breakfast?
PANCIT CANTON. Little bro cooked it for me. (Sometimes he is just so sweet.)
Ever had your heart broken?
Should I be honest? -.- Okay fine. Yeah, i guess. Once. You know, infatuation sucks. hahahaha
Countries you’ve been?
I've never been to any country (I don't have the luxury okay?) But in my dreams i've been traveling the world. :>
Last person you texted?
Irene (a college friend). I told her I only got 9 units during the 1st batchrun of online enlistment. :| I think my text goes like this  >> I only got 9 units! Blech. <<
Dumbest thing you have ever done?
You know, it's hard to point somthing in particular when you have a lot to enumerate. :D
Opinion on drugs/alcohol?
Gives nothing but a pain in the *ss. 
Last person to kiss you?
Today, my mum kissed me on the forehead. :D
Favourite book?
My Bible, His Word. 
Ever dated someone younger than you?
For the record, I've never dated anyone. 
Last person you saw?
(This question is pointless but I'll, nonetheless, answer it) My cousin. He keeps jumping from places to places here in the living room.
Do you love anyone?
Of course. I am loved that's why I ought to love. Wait. You mean romantically? I don't think so. :D
Who is your best friend?
God. (it may sound cliche but it's true. Better leave it this way.)
Where you live, and what you like/dislike about it
I live in a small but happy house. My church and my relatives are just around the corner so I am very pleased about it. 
How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
Five hours. 
The person you like?
Secret. :P (The last thing I have in mind is to put myself in a dire situation, so I better not spill it.)
Your opinion on dating your ex.
I have no experience to share. But if you want a general opinion, hmmm, askdhjakshskhksfksh! STOP FANTASIZING YOUR EX!! There's a reason why you didn't end up together. (No, I'm not mad.)
Ever kissed a stranger?
I am not a perv.
What you want to do with your future
I want to be a diplomat (ambassador would be a lot cooler though) and to be a missionary too. :D
Are you happy?
I am always happy. =))
Ever been in love?
I am always in love. <3
The meaning behind your url
It sounds cool and mysterious and weird.
A question of your own
Would you be able to finish your race of faith?